Around 15 minutes into my daily run, as I made my way down my favorite stretch of gravel on the local canal path, I came across a gaggle of geese.
For most of the year, the local Canada geese are just an annoyance. They get in my way, but they generally go away if I clap or yell at them to move. But geese in the spring are a different beast. Once they have their babies, they become defensive and aggressive. They protect their space and don't like to move.
When I tried to pass by them on the narrow trail, one of them started hissing at me, bobbing its long neck. Then, as I passed by, it burst into an all-out sprint, chasing me down the canal.
I started sprinting, too, howling at them to go away. Once I decided that they weren't going to pursue me, I realized how fast I'd been running. My flight-or-fight instinct kicked in, and, without noticing it, I'd been running sub-4 mile pace (if only for a few seconds).
The rest of the run, I was on edge. When I approached another geese family blocking the trail a few minutes later, I cut my losses and turned around. Not worth it.
I passed by my coworker, Runner's World deputy editor Mallory Creveling, as I was heading home, and I warned her about the angry birds. When I got home, I saw she had tagged me in a Strava post: "Intervals interrupted by a literal goose chase, even with a warning from Theo Kahler."
They got her as well!
"I literally ran away screaming," she messaged me after the incident. "It's impossible to get around them."
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My close encounter with the fowls got me curious. What happen if a goose attacks you? Do they bite? Or just thump you with their wings?
Turns out, the answer is: yes. They can do both of these.
While relatively rare, geese have been known to strike humans. Usually, this is during the spring when their babies are little. The male goose (gander) will stand guard while the mother goose (just called a "goose") will usher around the baby geese (goslings).
Bites are pretty rare -- but geese do have teeth-like spikes on their tongues -- so instead, their first line of defense is usually to charge and flap their large wings.
"Because geese can weigh up to 25 pounds, the muscles in those wings are incredibly strong," wrote Alisha McDarris in a Popular Science article about how to avoid geese confrontation. "...So you really don't want to be pummeled by those wings -- they can quickly knock down a full-grown adult and cause scrapes, stitches, even broken bones."
Common sense would point to simply avoiding families of geese on runs. Usually, I try to give them a wide berth when I pass them. But in yesterday's case, I was running on a narrow trail. To avoid them, I would've had to bushwack through some shrubs or dive into the canal and swim around them. I took a chance squeezing by -- and learned my lesson.
If a goose does approach you, and you think it may charge you, make sure to remain calm and face the bird head-on. According to the company Geese Relief, you should never turn your back to them because they could perceive that as a chance to strike:
"Back away slowly and never run, yell, kick, or act aggressively in any way. If you do, the other bird may attack you as well. If a goose flies toward your face, duck or moves away from it at a 90-degree angle to the direction of flight. Continue to face the goose at all times."
Obviously, I could have done a few things differently on my run. Knowing this, I'll try to be more mindful of my approach. It's annoying that some of my favorite spots to run are now ruled by testy birds. But how embarrassing would it be to pull out of my June marathon with a goose-related injury?