Dear Eric: I am a 63-year-old female who has been married for 45 years to a wonderful man. We've been blessed with a great relationship but the last two years I've developed a phobia about riding or driving a car on the highway. I'm fine on city streets and residential streets, but when getting on the highways I have started to have extreme fear and anxiety to the point of full-blown panic attacks.

This angers my husband immensely. He tells me "I'm crazy" and that I need to "pull up my big girl panties". He's also called me some vile names which I can't repeat here. I know it's irrational and I can't understand why it is happening. He's now threatening to sell my car, even though I have no trouble driving to the store, doctor's office, hair salon, etc.

I don't have insurance that covers mental health issues, and I've priced counselors, but frankly we can't afford it as we are retired and on a very limited budget. My doctor doesn't want to put me on anxiety meds as she believes they are addictive and suggests I "just breathe" to combat this. I'm at a loss what to do. Any suggestions?

- Rough Road

Dear Road: It's possible your husband's abusive language and behavior is making your anxiety worse.

Anxiety latches on to anything that it can, so perhaps there's something else you're struggling with and it's showing up in the car. Regardless, your husband should be supporting you, not calling you names. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, TheHotline.org, can point you to local resources for relief from the way your husband is treating you. Just because he doesn't understand what's happening to you, doesn't mean it's not happening. His behavior is what's irrational; you're approaching this situation with concern and a solution-focused mindset. Don't let him touch your car keys.

Also, please get a second medical opinion about the anxiety medication. Many doctors would disagree with your doctor's views.

With regard to therapy, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA.gov, is a great resource for finding free or low-cost counseling and support groups. I also recommend the books "Mindfulness" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman and "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne. It takes some detective work and a lot of hard internal work to get through this. It also takes time and patience. But relief is possible. Anyone who isn't along for that ride with you needs to get out of the car.