Ever since the Jan. 8 death of Sergei Ushakov stunned the local music world, performers have been recalling the mix of fear and respect they experienced when working with the commanding Burlington sound engineer.

Musicians have shared those thoughts on social media and in conversations with each other. They reiterated those impressions Feb. 15 at a celebration of Ushakov's life at Nectar's, the music venue where he perfected sound for three decades.

Marina (Ushakova) Collins has heard those musicians' remembrances. Ushakov's ex-wife said that intimidating nature wasn't her experience with the former member of the Soviet Army who became a Vermont music community legend.

"I knew his softer side," Collins said Saturday at Nectar's as the Vermont DJ duo Local Dork began the hours-long celebration of Ushakov by spinning tunes from his album collection.

A former Burlington city employee, Collins met Ushakov on a tour of the Soviet Union in Yaroslavl, a sister city of Burlington, in the early 1990s. "I went there and we just started this crazy love affair," Collins said. They married in 1993 as Ushakov moved to Vermont, and the couple had two children, Steven and Kristina.

The two stayed married for 13 years. "As soon as we were divorced, we were friends," Collins said.

The softer side she alluded to came through in the close bonds Ushakov formed with those around him.

"He's very loyal, loyal to his family and his Russian roots, and his friends," Collins said.

"Once you were in," she said, "you weren't getting out."

Ushakov, who died suddenly at age 65, was famous at Nectar's and other venues and tours he worked with for his deep understanding and honest assessments of sound. He delivered his messages to performers with a blunt sense of humor, as displayed in a photo shown in a slide show at the celebration depicting him wearing a T-shirt reading "Can I get a little more talent in my monitor?"

"He could be gruff but, man, he had a heart of gold," Charlie Frazier of Blues for Breakfast said during the Burlington band's set at the celebration. Frazier said he's played in various groups at Nectar's for 50 years, the last 30 of which often found Ushakov leading the hard-driving sound from his elevated booth overlooking the stage.

"He taught us how to be musicians and want to sound good," according to Frazier. "It may have been loud but it always sounded good."

Saturday's celebration brought in local performers including Jon Fishman, who played with Jamie Masefield's Jazz Mandolin Project and his own group Pork Tornado, who toured with Ushakov as the band's sound man in 2001 and 2002. Fishman, of course, is best known for his work with Phish, which began playing in Burlington in the 1980s and made Nectar's famous - and vice-versa.

The celebration included slide shows and scrapbooks capturing Ushakov's history from his family life and army stint in the Soviet Union through his Vermont family life and career. Displays focused on Ushakov's passions, including his lofty goals for his work in music, as shown by a table filled with books and periodicals with names such as "Live Sound" and "The Audio Dictionary."

"He was a professional," according to his son, Steven Ushakov. "He cared deeply about putting on a perfect show. He was obsessive in the best of ways. He loved music and equipment as much as he loved his own children. That was Papa. That was him."

Ushakov, who had a daughter, Anna, from a previous relationship in Yaroslavl, didn't forsake his children in favor of his love for music, according to his son. Steven Ushakov said his commitment to life modeled a similar sense of responsibility for his children.

"That's where you feel the loss the most. He was an anchor at this club" and as a father, according to Steven. Now a math teacher, Steven said he learned from his father the essence of wanting to solve problems, something the elder Ushakov plunged into happily on a regular basis at Nectar's.

"He was always super-excited to include us," said Steven, who with his sister Kristina made a few trips on tour with their father.

The family wanted to present Saturday's celebration to give his father "the most rockin', the most musical, the most gear-obsessed, Russian/American" gathering possible, according to Steven. The party happened at the venue synonymous with Serge Ushakov's obsessive work, the results of which could be heard flowing through Nectar's speakers all day Saturday.

"There's really no better space to send off Sergei," his son said.

Contact Brent Hallenbeck at [email protected].