In the age of AirBnb and home prices skyrocketing to the point that it's actually cheaper to rent than own, there's a good chance that if you step outside your place, one of the houses or condos on your block is hosting renters. Some have long-term leases while others are just passing through -- but all of them are having wild sex parties.
Okay, probably not all of them. But by how the people of St. Louis, Missouri, are acting towards their neighbors, you would think strap-ons and condoms were floating down the street on a stream of lube.
The locals of St. Louis (the dull ones, at least) are growing fearful that "underground sex parties" are becoming mainstream in their neighborhoods, First Alert 4 reported.
The outlet did some investigative reporting and even staked out some of the rumored locations. They noticed people arriving one by one -- sometimes in pairs -- as the house not-so-discreetly became a party hub with flashing lights and music.
Missouri has laws to prevent nonconsensual sexual activity, as well as illegal drug use and underage drinking. Then, of course, there's the law against promoting prostitution, or pimping, and promoting sex tourism. What consenting adults do in their spare time, however, is really no one else's business. But the thought of consensual, free-of-charge sex taking place next door seems to really burn these people up, the law be damned.
Local attorney Matt Fry looked into the possibility of nailing these sexual deviants on charges of prostitution, but no dice. Though some of the parties are pay-to-enter, the cost covers the expenses of hosting such a soiree, not the actual sex.
He explained there's a "gray area" that makes "underground sex clubs" legal but ominously added the city could probably still find a way to "make their life hell." Matt seems like a fun guy.
But Matt isn't the only pearl clutcher in the St. Louis area! Those living near these dens of depravity are also itching to rid their pristine, chaste neighborhoods of these sex-having fiends.
Many pointed to the overcrowding, from losing out on parking to random people walking down their street, First Alert reported. If there's one guaranteed way of pissing off a Karen, it's by taking her prized spot in front of her house.
Another person called it "scary" because of the unknown. "Something can really get out of hand," they said.
"Hopefully, the police and the mayor get involved and shut it all down," they added.
As of 2025, St. Louis, Missouri, is considered the second most dangerous place in America, with the most common crime being aggravated assault. So...it may be worth focusing on that instead of worrying about your neighbors' consensual sex parties. Just a thought.