DEAR ANNIE: My husband and I will be married 47 years come Dec. 2. My heart is broken because I've been in remission for acute promyelocytic (APL) leukemia for two years now but still have quite a few medical problems due to the arsenic chemo treatments I was on for over two years.

My memory issues are the worst. My short-term memory is completely gone, along with some of my long-term memory. I repeat quite a few of my questions to my husband and daughter. Also, I say things over and over again. My husband especially tells me very angrily to shut up because he doesn't want to hear me repeating questions or saying things constantly just to hear them again five minutes later. My doctors have said it is just the long-term damage from the chemo. There is nothing to be fixed.

I am heartbroken because I can't even talk in my own home. I have become silent and guarded, afraid to say anything. I go about my day doing my normal chores and answering any questions my husband or daughter might have, but that is about it. I might as well have lost my voice because I am not allowed to talk anyway. My therapist understands and tells me constantly that none of this is my fault. I never asked for this. But it doesn't change the reality of my life. Any suggestions you could give me would be most appreciated. -- Heartbroken Cancer Survivor

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I am incredibly sorry for all you're going through. Your home and family should be sources of comfort, not stress and unacceptance.

For anything to change, you have to honestly and openly communicate how you're feeling to your husband. It's worth asking if your therapist would be willing to see both of you for a few sessions or recommend a couples counselor who can. You might also find connection through a local support group with others in your exact situation who understand the extreme difficulties that your diagnosis presents for you and you alone. I wholeheartedly agree with your therapist that none of this is your fault, the way your husband is treating you is not OK, and you deserve to be heard and free to live in your own home.