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Seven years is how long I was an only child. Seven years of quiet, being the center of attention, and playing by myself. On Dec. 27, 2010, my seven years of quiet were abruptly ended by my sister, Abby, who came screaming into this world -- in a snowstorm, no less.
Abby has always liked to do things her way. She showed up five weeks early, always had a specific way of playing, and she was a really picky eater. As an older sister, I just thought she was weird of course. It wasn't until I was a little older that I could actually understand.
See, Abby has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), so she does things a little differently, makes friends a little differently, thinks about school a little differently, and sometimes acts a little differently. It is a privilege growing up beside her, seeing the world through her eyes, and trying to understand how she interprets the world. It wasn't until one day during my freshman year of college that I fully realized the privilege that she gave me.
I picked up a phone call from my mom. Weird, she never calls me this time of day. She's usually working. She was calling from the back of an ambulance that was taking her and Abby to the emergency room. Abby had informed her of a detailed plan of suicide that she had -- at 12 years old.
At that moment my world stopped. My sister? My 12-year-old sister who copied everything I did, played the sports I played, wanted the friends I had; she wanted to die? I had left for college just a few months prior. Instantly, I wrongly blamed myself, I shouldn't have left, I am a bad sister, it's all my fault. But it was not.
All of those who know anything about mental health know that depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation do not come from the actions of one person. It is a disease that plagues your mind and makes it hard to see reality sometimes. Abby was rushed to the emergency department, evaluated and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. It would be the first of three hospitalizations and one partial psychiatric program that she completed. She has her struggles but continues to make progress every day. She is in eighth grade now and is learning how to be an advocate for herself and use her strategies so that she might continue to be successful.
One in seven children ages 3-17 have a current diagnosed mental health condition. Abby is one of those kids and has an additional comorbid diagnosis of ASD as well. To deal with this enormous challenge we need increased pediatric mental health awareness and many more resources in schools and communities in Connecticut and the United States as a whole.
Currently, Connecticut does have some available resources but not enough. Connecticut Children's specializes in the unique mental health needs of children and offers programs to assist children and families.
Currently in Connecticut, the Child Health and Development Institute is one of the main contributors to improving access to resources for mental health in schools. CDHI is currently recruiting K-12 schools and districts across Connecticut to participate in CONNECT IV, a new initiative to support school mental health. CDHI IS accepting applications on a rolling basis from interested schools and districts to receive free technical assistance to enhance their school mental health services and systems. This should not be optional. The types of training and services the CDHI offers should be commonplace in all K-12 schools.
Having these programs is simply not enough. Mental health must be talked about in school starting at a young age. It is an extreme misconception that talking about suicide increases the likelihood a child is going to commit suicide. According to the Mayo Clinic, talking about suicide helps reduce suicidal ideation.
The next generation is our future. To protect our future we must protect them and we cando that by increasing access to mental health resources for children. I received a call that changed my life, but I was privileged enough to have a strong support system and access to resources to help Abby. Not everyone has that sort of privilege and that is why it is so important for this action and education initiatives to be common in schools not just in Connecticut but all over the country.
The goal is for one day, no one to have to receive a call like I did. I count my lucky stars every day to be Abby's older sister. She does not know the privilege it has been to watch her grow and the pride I feel for her every day. She is my inspiration in all that I do, and I hope by sharing her story, she will inspire you to help us make the necessary change for kids everywhere.
The 988 Lifeline emergency suicide and crisis hotline is available 24/7/365 here.