Now, the women's friendship is in jeopardy because the maid of honor is "pissed" at the bride for taking over parts of her job
A recently married woman is asking Reddit users if she was a "bridezilla."
In a post on the platform's "Bridezillas" forum, the bride asked people to be "brutally honest" with her after explaining how her maid of honor lashed out at her for taking over her bridal planning duties.
For context, she said that her best friend of 16 years has "a lot of mental health issues," so she initially didn't want her to be her maid of honor. With her struggling to even work, leave the house or make phone calls, she didn't want to burden her with anything "that she couldn't handle." But after she "started sobbing" about having wanted to be her maid of honor "for years," she gave her the role.
The bride figured she'd have to plan everything by herself, but didn't mind doing so. While planning a pre-wedding fundraising party together, the maid of honor dropped "off the earth for a little" and eventually texted the bride that she wasn't "in the mental place" to help.
"I plan the event, no worries," the bride wrote. "A week before my event she messaged me saying she was ready to plan my event now. At this point, tickets are sold, and games are live on the site. When I tell her the planning is done, she's mad that I did it without her."
The bride apologized. Because her maid of honor said she wasn't in a mental place to help, she assumed she was "good to go without her." Since then, the bride "learned [her] lesson" and decided to "check in with her every step of the way to make sure she feels okay."
But events weren't the only thing the two women argued about.
The maid of honor was the last to order her bridesmaid dress, despite repeated requests from the bride to do so early on. She also misspoke, claiming the dress wouldn't be ready until a week before the wedding and would still need to be tailored. This "frustrated" the bride, who calmed down after learning the dress would actually be ready a month before the big day.
"She's mad that I got mad at her," the bride said. "I apologize and say I wasn't mad, just frustrated and stressed. She told me that my stress was making her stressed. I apologize, we move on."
A few months later, it was bachelorette party planning time. The maid of honor started a group chat and periodically updated the bride to say planning was "going great." But a month before the bachelorette party, other bridesmaids messaged the bride "stressed out" because "nothing is booked, they haven't heard from my MOH and have no idea what's going on."
"I reach out and tell her this, in which she says she has it under control. I ask if we can compromise and I can book transportation and she can plan the rest. She agrees," the Redditor wrote. "A few more weeks pass, nothing is planned, every other girl is messaging me stressed out, I'm stressed. It's just stressful."
The bride took over planning to ensure everything would run smoothly in time. She noted that she didn't want to be "rude," so she thanked her maid of honor and asked for her permission "100 times" before taking over the reins.
"The entire time I'm thinking of how to keep her happy," she said.
Then two months before the wedding, the maid of honor's father unexpectedly died.
"Wedding talk stops because I in no way think that it is more important," the poster wrote. "We focus on her. That's it."
A few weeks later, the bride asked her maid of honor if she was okay to still be part of everything, and offered to reduce her responsibilities. "Whatever she wants," she said.
The friend chose not to step down from her role, yet didn't fulfill her duties. Ahead of the wedding, she didn't help with any decorations. The day before the ceremony, she was a no-show for set-up, claiming she "got stuck in traffic." At brunch the next morning, she was almost an hour late. At the wedding, she spent most of the day "in the bathroom."
"I thank her for everything, don't bring up any problems -- part ways," the bride recalled. "Before the death of her dad I was a little miffed at how she was handling things, but let it go. She has bigger problems now, I'm not going to bring stuff like this up when it feels so small."
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Two months later, the bride reached out to her because they hadn't spoken since the wedding.
"Turns out she's PISSED at me," she said. "She says that I treated her like crap through the whole experience, that other people took over part of her jobs (one example is that my mother brought a table cloth to the bridal shower, when MOH had put on the Google Doc she was doing table cloths -- I didn't even KNOW ABOUT this)."
The bride apologized "multiple times," but her friend was still upset.
"She says that she had to 'get through the wedding' before telling me how mad she was," she noted. "Which really upset me, because knowing that she was just pissed that entire wedding weekend is devastating. I knew she [was] off, but I assumed she was mourning."
The maid of honor's mother also hopped on the call to yell at the bride.
"[She] tells me that it's not fair that I made her daughter feel like she ruined my wedding," the Redditor wrote.
Since the phone call, the bride has reached out to her friend several times to mend things. She even sent her flowers for her birthday. But her friend says she isn't "ready" to talk to her.
The bride asked Redditors how she can resolve the situation. In response, users on the platform questioned why she would want to because the friendship "sounds like a hell of a lot of work." They also said she wasn't a bridezilla.
"Girl, I think you are fine," one person commented. "Some friendships aren't meant to last a lifetime."