As a parent, it's difficult to watch your child struggle. At any age, you hurt for them. You want to help -- but there comes a point when helping can be harmful.
Removing obstacles from their path may make life easier in the short term, but as they approach college and young adulthood, it could set them up for bigger problems.
So, how can you help your teenager learn to navigate life's obstacles? Here are some tips.
Change your focus
Instead of helping your kids "avoid difficulties," help them "get through difficulties." To do this, try to think of difficult circumstances as "teachable moments" that your child can learn from.
Avoid quick fixes
We've all experienced occasions when our children's stress became our stress, too. It sometimes seems tempting to deal with adversity by taking an easier road, but this limits their ability to work through difficulties on their own.
People are also reading... Death reported after crash at Veterans Parkway and College Avenue Bloomington-Normal breakfast options heating up with Flame At Bloom Illinois State Police euthanized escaped cow as it tried to cross Veterans Parkway in Bloomington Shelby County coroner dead in apparent hunting accident 24 arrested in Lincoln, Logan County drug investigation Driver in fatal Woodford County DUI crash to be resentenced, appeals court rules Marco's Pizza closes 3 locations in Central Illinois, including Bloomington Bloomington man accused of shooting at a couple in a gang-related attack 50 years ago: Baby found in Eastland Mall parking lot Tailgate N' Tallboys announces 2025 lineup for Bloomington country music festival Bloomington man detained on heroin, fentanyl possession Shelby County coroner's cause of death was drowning; funeral services set 2 big winners reported at East Peoria casino McLean County Board member Catherine Metsker resigns Flick Fact: At State Farm, what spawns a quarter of a million claims a year? Give your child the freedom to fail
This may be the hardest thing to do; we don't want to see our kids fail. The biggest gift we can give our children is the freedom to fall, dust themselves off and get back up again. This does not mean that we never extend a helping hand. It just means that we need to let them learn how to navigate and adapt so they'll be prepared. Life is bound to throw them some curveballs, and we aren't always going to be there.
Promote independence
They may miss appointments or oversleep for school, but that creates a learning opportunity. We know that in real life, if we miss an important meeting at work, there are usually consequences. Learning about this as a student is better than learning how to manage life and cope with difficulty as an adult.
Make college decisions together
What's most important to your child when it comes to choosing a college? Yes, I said your child. Not you. Many factors go into selecting one college over another. What does your teen want? Is it different than what you want? Have conversations and listen. Learning your child's preferences at the outset will help all of you narrow the search and come to a decision that all of you feel comfortable with.
Ask about mental health support on campus
The American College Health Association Survey on health showed that more than 60% of kids in college have "overwhelming anxiety" at some point; and that the average time to access a counselor is a week. If you have a family history of mental health disorders, your child is at greater risk.
The Jed Foundation provides a detailed guide to help students manage their mental health and thrive in the campus environment. Download the guide and learn more at nami.org/collegeguide.
Love 0 Funny 0 Wow 0 Sad 0 Angry 0
Be the first to know
Get local news delivered to your inbox!
Sign up! * I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.