What are some signs that someone may have self-destructive tendencies but they are not aware of it? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

Answer by Dr. Abbie Maroño, PhD in Psychology and Behavior Analysis, on Quora:

Identifying self-destructive tendencies in someone who is not aware of them can be challenging, but not impossible. Indeed, empirical research in psychology highlights several signs that may indicate such tendencies. Let's focus on four common signs; chronic self-criticism, sabotaging relationships, risky and impulsive behaviors, and procrastination/ avoidance.

Chronic Self-Criticism

Chronic self-criticism involves persistently harsh self-judgment and a focus on perceived flaws or mistakes. Individuals who engage in this behavior often blame themselves for failures and downplay their successes, which can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth and increased vulnerability to mental health issues like depression and anxiety. This constant negative self-assessment undermines personal and professional growth, creating a cycle of self-sabotage. Research has consistently shown that self-criticism is linked to depressive symptoms and anxiety, further reinforcing self-destructive behaviors and hindering overall well-being.

Sabotaging Relationships

Sabotaging relationships is characterized by behaviors that undermine or destroy personal connections, such as creating conflicts, withdrawing from loved ones, or exhibiting inconsistent behavior. This often stems from a fear of rejection or a belief that one is unworthy of love and support. Individuals with self-destructive tendencies may unconsciously push others away, leading to isolation and loneliness. Research has found that such behaviors may be driven by perfectionism and self-criticism, contributing to difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. The resulting lack of a supportive social network exacerbates mental health issues and perpetuates self-destructive tendencies.

Engaging in Risky Behaviors

Engaging in risky behaviors includes actions that can cause physical, emotional, or psychological harm, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, and unsafe sexual practices. These behaviors reflect an underlying disregard for personal safety and well-being and are often used as a way to escape negative self-perceptions and emotional pain. Researchers have argued that individuals who engage in these behaviors are often attempting to cope with their inner turmoil, but such maladaptive coping mechanisms often leads to serious physical harm, legal issues, and further emotional distress. The consequences of risky behaviors compound existing self-destructive tendencies, making it harder to break the cycle of negative behavior.

Procrastination and Avoidance

Finally, procrastination and avoidance involve delaying or evading tasks and responsibilities, leading to missed opportunities and failures that reinforce negative self-perceptions. This behavior is a common form of self-sabotage linked to fear of failure, perfectionism, and low self-esteem. Chronic procrastination results in a lack of progress in personal and professional life, creating feelings of guilt, shame, and increased stress. Indeed, procrastination prevents individuals from achieving their goals and fulfilling their potential, perpetuating a cycle of self-doubt and underachievement. Addressing procrastination and avoidance is crucial for breaking the cycle of self-destructive behavior and promoting personal growth.

These signs can provide insights into underlying self-destructive tendencies. However, it is important to approach these observations with empathy and understanding, as individuals may not be consciously aware of their behaviors or the impact on their well-being. Encouraging professional help and providing support can be crucial steps in addressing these tendencies.