My mother (63) was recently diagnosed with stage 3-4 ovarian cancer and has just started chemotherapy. She's been on disability for many years due to chronic mental health issues. For decades, she has also been the primary caregiver for her younger brother, my uncle, who has an intellectual disability and receives disability benefits as well.

My mom has made it clear that if her health declines further or she passes, she wants me to step in as my uncle's legal guardian. He needs help with daily living (bathing, cooking), is significantly obese, has phobias, and is not able to live independently (he has the mind of a five-year-old). She believes that care homes are unsafe and worries about him being mistreated if placed in one.

A caseworker recently sent me information about guardianship responsibilities, and I need to make a decision soon. These responsibilities include making medical and personal decisions, ensuring a safe living environment, staying involved in his care, and filing annual reports with the court. I wouldn't have to pay for anything out of pocket, but I would need to actively oversee his well-being.

I'm 32, single, no kids, and while I earn a decent salary, I'm working through some debt and don't have much savings. I live in a third-floor one-bedroom apartment and don't smoke; my mom, who's also hinted at wanting to move in with me, is a very heavy smoker. I'm not sure that arrangement is realistic. My life is already feeling heavy, with my mom's diagnosis, helping her with medical appointments, and now this potential long-term responsibility.

There's one other sibling in the family, but they're older and not really willing to help. Other relatives are distant and uninvolved. My relationship with my mom is complicated, but I'm the one she stays in touch with regularly; I feel the pressure and weight of being "the only one." My dad said he couldn't think of anyone else.

I want to do the right thing, but I also don't want to lose myself, my future, or the chance to build a life of my own. I still hope to have a family someday, and I'm worried that becoming a guardian could change everything.

I'm looking for honest advice from people who've done this, seen it done, or just have perspective on how to balance love, duty, and boundaries in a situation like this. Is it realistic for me to take this on, or should I look into other options, and what would those be? My mother says that he could be taken by the state, but she thinks that he won't be cared for well.